Want to live a Good Life
without torturing yourself along the way?
The Goodbye Perfect Project is all about reclaiming self-improvement for what it really is: a journey of love and non-judgment toward our highest potential.
A good life isn’t a perfect life. It is our moment-to-moment engagement with what is in all its beauty and mess, as we strive toward ideals that speak to us. It’s an asymptote, not an axis.
But society doesn’t make it easy.
It forbids joy and ease in favor of head-centric notions of toil and perfection. Collectively, we’ve left the soul behind, and are living with pandemic levels of anxiety and burnout.
We’re also expected to pursue ideals that were never ours to begin with. As women, we don’t relate to the Superwoman figure who fixes everything with her power.
Our ideals do the everyday work of changing diapers in the middle of the night, and having difficult and messy conversations that have no easy answer. They have the emotional courage to be imperfect as they do work that is important, even if they are not externally prized or rewarded.
They are, what Brene Brown calls people with a “strong back, soft front, wild heart”.
The Goodbye Perfect Project is about connecting back to that self within us—that imperfect self—so we can be joyfully engaged in work that most calls us at this stage in our lives.
Because it’s impossible to self-actualize when we keep holding the self to impossible standards or judging its strengths and denying its dreams. Self-actualization requires embracing the self in the first place.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”
Carl Rogers
We offer science backed programs to do so, and a soulful community because this is a collective project.
Together, we’re ready to let go of the fears and pain that keep us small and perfect like a Bonzai tree.
And together, we’re ready to embrace the gifts our life embodies, and live the uniquely beautiful—journey that longs to unfold—life that longs to live through each one of us.
Incubators are 6-8 week coaching programs for small groups of women who want to do the deeper work of repair.
We offer two types of repair work: emotional repair and soul repair. Emotional repair is for those of us who feel trapped in patterns of thought or behavior we just can’t seem to let go of, whether it is anger, resentment, perfection or pleasing. Keep in mind, emotional repair is not a substitute for therapy if you’ve suffered trauma.
In soul repair, we identify the qualities, dreams and aspirations that are repressed in us, and create a structure to give them creative expression. Our participants come from all stages of life and looking for “that something missing”, whether it is joy, purpose or freedom.
If interested, please sign up to our weekly newsletter for updates, tools and inspiration to live a good life.
We’re a quilt of many beautiful fabrics—we come from different continents, professions, sexual orientations, faith, age, stage of life and more. Our ethos is belonging. We are different in so many ways, yet united by our shared commitment to our common humanity.
Our community has grown out of readers and listeners to our media, and we’re hoping to amplify it with the publication of the Goodbye, Perfect book and 2 virtual events we will hold every year to celebrate imperfection. They’ll take place on a Solstice and an Equinox, that happen because of the imperfect path of our planet Earth.
These events are free to attend, as part of our soulful mission to create a safe place to be with kindred spirits engaged in the important work of living a good life. To stay updated, simply join our weekly newsletter that we like to call: “science with a soul”.
The Goodbye Perfect program is a 20-week transformative journey with a research backed curriculum and insightful monthly coaching that builds the right kind of confidence. It is based on Homaira’s postgraduate research on women’s confidence and flourishing and builds the four psychological components of “optimal confidence”.
Whether you’re looking to uplevel your career, take charge of your health and wellbeing, or create more fulfilling relationships, the program will help you identify what’s getting in the way, create powerful structures of growth, and lead to real change in your life.
You can join the program at any time, and be supported for life through our monthly coaching calls that are dedicated to members of the program. We believe that a well-lived life is a marathon of ups and downs; to navigate it well, we all need regular support along the way.
The membership is a great place to begin the work of self-awareness and shine the light on the parts of us that we don’t know so well. Most of us are slave to our thoughts, beliefs and justifications, reacting to the world rather than responding to it.
In our bi-monthly calls, Homaira helps you identify your thoughts and fears, without identifying with them. This can be challenging for many of us, especially in moments of emotional surge. The more we learn to create distance from our fears, the more we connect to our hearts, and to the voices of intuition, values and longings.
As the physicist Marie Curie has said: “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”
Why the Goodbye Perfect Project is special to me…
I believe in human potential. I’m in awe of the human spirit. I’m moved to tears when I see people show up in ways that inspire something deep within us—our own silent potential to be bigger and better versions of ourselves.
I founded the project as a way for us to uncover, embrace and express our potential, because I believe this to be essential work. Our world is going through a massive transformation, and needs each one of us to show up with the unique gifts our lives embody.
The late Terry Patten, philosopher, activist and social entrepreneur wrote: “Our evolutionary crisis is forging a new kind of 21st-century hero—one who looks just like you.”
To be the heroes we’re waiting for, we need to do our inner work. We need emotional awareness and healing so that we are connected with the empathic bonds that make us who we are, and engaged in the work that most lights us up, in our homes, workplaces or communities.
Please join us in whichever way feels right for now at this time, so together, we create a more sane, compassionate and purpose-driven world, one soulful individual and one small action at a time.
what other women are saying
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Your wisdom and guidance that opened up my self-awareness and self compassion.
“Homaira, thanks for your wisdom and guidance that opened up my self-awareness and self-compassion. I see myself as a changed person, and I’m so glad this is the self that I can bring to my parenting in particular, and to life in general.” – GWEN TRAN
Keep going. You are needed.
“I want you to know your words hit home with me every time. It’s truly sad that we are all struggling, but in my world of being a single, childless (by choice) working woman of 56, still trying to shake free from the intense trauma of my childhood, you speak words that help me to feel there is still hope for me, and a future of self empowerment to work toward. Keep going. You are needed.” – MONIQUE
Your advices are here to help us along the way.
“I want to thank you for giving hope that we don’t have to settle with our daily struggles. Something can be done to improve it and your advices are here to help us along the way. And for providing the contexts and situations where I can identify myself (understand that I am not alone in this situation!) and put another perspective to it.” – JOY SWEET
Merci for your timely words of wisdom
“What I love most about you is finding you in my everyday quest to resonate with a soulful life. Merci for your timely words of wisdom. It’s the idea of seek & you shall find. I found you in my quest.” – KELLYANN
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The Book
Goodbye Perfect: How to Stop Pleasing, Proving and Pushing for Others…And Live for Yourself brings you a science backed framework from my research on confidence, woven with my personal journey through an eating disorder.
What it offers you is an understanding of that all too familiar voice in the head that drives us to be more of something—good, competent, productive, likable, thin, sexy, knowledgeable—in one word, perfect. Because no matter how hard you try or how well you do, it will always be ether. And woe to you if you fail, face a setback or get criticized…
The book will take you through a journey that builds the psychological components of true confidence so you grow into the bold and brilliant woman you came here to be.