CONFIDENCE STRATEGY #8:

KNOW YOUR HACKS

Confidence Strategy Challenge

We experience confidence in 2 ways—how we feel in the moment, and how we feel about ourselves. Or as they say in psychology, state and trait confidence

Trait confidence, as you likely know by now, is the inner confidence we’ve been building. It’s what allows us to persevere despite challenges, and to fail and succeed with grace because our worth isn’t always on the line.

State confidence is the emotions we feel when something goes badly or well. And emotions aren’t in our control.

Say a presentation you worked hard for goes badly and you feel unhappy. Or it goes well, but instead of feeling happy, you fear being found out to be a fraud.

Having hacks for those moments will help you detach from the emotion instead of going down its spiral of doom and gloom

Because when emotions hijack the brain, it’s impossible to have perspective, clarity, compassion, or real courage. You’re in the fight, flight, or freeze response and what you do or don’t do will likely be an attempt at self-protection or self-enhancement. 

With a pre-prepared toolkit, you can by-pass your emotional circuitry and respond from a place of confidence.

The How

Step 1:

Think of something you
did today that you feel good about. 

Think about what makes you feel confident.

Think of everything that works for YOU. It could be dancing to a favourite song blasted out loud. It could be a piece of clothing that works on your body, a pair of shoes that make you feel great, or (my favorite) red lipstick!

It could be reading over your list of achievements before walking into an important meeting or having a friend remind you of your skills before a job interview.

It could be some of the strategies we’ve learnt in the challenge (e.g. silencing your inner critic or owning your fierce side). What are some of the small things that give you an instant confidence boost?

Write them all down and put them in a jar or make little cards so you have them on hand when you need them.

Step 2:

Now complete this sentence

Now, what dampens your confidence?

It’s also important to know the triggers or situations where your confidence slips so you can avoid them or be prepared going into them.

For example, being rushed in the morning may be a trigger for you because you get to work feeling disheveled and conscious about your hair or the jacket that’s not right for your dress. Or skipping lunch may be a trigger because you can’t focus in the meeting and self-doubt starts creeping in.

There are external triggers too—a common one for women in the workplace is when a male colleague speaks over them or repeats what they said and gets the credit for it. Not knowing what to do about it in the moment, or doing it ineffectively does a number on our confidence.

Write down your triggers and then set strategies in place to either ensure they don’t happen, or to fast track your way past them when they do.

Step 3:

To build a habit of today’s strategy,

Don’t forget to print or download! And you can still invite other women to join us and they’ll get all the 8 strategies in the challenge. Here’s the link to share with them: www.homairakabir.com/confidence-challenge-registration/