Confidence Strategy Challenge

My research on confidence upended so many misconceptions about what confidence is and how we build it. Many of us believe that confidence comes simply from taking action, and a large part of this belief comes from the scientific literature on competence.

But competence isn’t the same as confidence. 

Confidence is the same psychological construct as authenticity. You develop it by living in alignment with your values and vision.

So no, ticking an item off your to-do list doesn’t count unless it helps you gain traction on your worthwhile goals ☺

This is precisely my area of confidence research—the gap between competence and authenticity called Fragile Confidence. 

You’ll do things and pursue goals for approval, appreciation or success because they help you feel good about yourself.

And you become dependent on them because you aren’t building the inner sense of self-worth that comes from being true to yourself.

The How

Step 1:

Think of something you
did today that you feel good about. 

Create a vision of your ideal life.

What’s your life and career vision? What do you want to be known for? How do you want to impact the people around you? What does a successful life look like for you? What are you spending time on? Who are you spending time with?

Think of all areas of life that are important to you and create an ‘ideal day’.

Step 2:

Now complete this sentence

Align your actions with your ideal day.

Where do you see the greatest incongruence in how you’re showing up?
Or what feels most inviting and exciting to begin with?

Will you set up new habits or structures that allow you to live as you want to live? (e.g. mentoring ambitious young women at work once a week or making 5 pm a hard stop to your work day so you can be 100% present with your family).

Or will you take some action to get the ball rolling toward an important goal? (e.g. reaching out to recruiters because your current workplace isn’t aligned with your values).

Remember, the idea isn’t to change your life all at once! That simply adds pressure and never works in the long run. Besides, you learn as you go—as you make changes, you may realize that some of the things you thought were important to you no longer are. Or that they don’t work with your lifestyle or personality.

Focus on ONE ‘right’ action today. If you feel inner resistance, go back to Day 3’s strategy: Mind Your Mind. And once you take the action, bring in your Cheerleader from Day 1 to celebrate with you!

Step 3:

To build a habit of today’s strategy,

And as always, print / download and save!

And share the challenge with other women so we grow in confidence together 🙂 Here’s the link where they can sign up: