This article first appeared on Psychology Today.

The holiday season is upon us—a time meant for joy, celebration, and connection. But for many of us, it can also feel like an overwhelming blur of gift shopping, family gatherings, social commitments, and mounting end-of-year workloads. Add to that the constant pressure to “finish the year strong,” and it’s no wonder we feel stressed and overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done.

If you find yourself caught in this pressure-cooker, then sit back and read on. There IS a better way to approach the end of year commitments, or for that matter any stressful situation. And it involves a shift in perspective.

The truth is, finishing the year strong isn’t about how much you accomplish; it’s about how you show up in the process. And paradoxically, when you approach life from a calm and centered place, you often achieve more than you ever expected.

A Truth We Forget

At the heart of this shift lies a truth we know when we enter the world (and often forget): “I’m free”. It’s the freedom to choose what you want. When we’re grounded in this truth, we grow up respecting the limits of our control.

We cannot control the behavior of others, ensure perfect outcomes, or avoid life’s curveballs. We cannot demand sunshine on a rainy day or expect others to meet our unspoken needs or spoken expectations.

But we can always control how we view the situation and what we say to ourselves about it. True freedom then, is about claiming agency over our inner world—our thoughts and feelings. It’s about recognizing when our thoughts are harming us (and feelings are our greatest cue) and realigning them with what we really want for our lives.

Because the reality is that the thoughts running wild in our heads—the “have-tos” and “shoulds”—are usually not our own. They’re shaped by societal norms, deep-seated beliefs, and self-imposed pressures to be perfect, to please others, or to prove ourselves.

And these mental scripts can rob us of the autonomy we need to feel alive and joyful.

Choosing Freedom

If you want to feel truly free this holiday season—and in your life—start paying attention to what you’re saying to yourself about any situation that’s causing you stress. I’m pretty sure you’ll notice black and white thinking based on rigid rules around what’s right and what’s wrong.

When you disconnect from these thoughts, you create space for joy and possibility. The Persian poet Rumi describes this disconnect beautifully: “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”

In that field, there’s no judgment or mental chatter—only expansiveness, trust, and connection. It’s the same openness you see in children, who engage with the world from a place of curiosity and joy. They aren’t consumed by worries about the future or regrets about the past. They simply are.

This kind of presence doesn’t just feel good; it’s also deeply productive. It’s the state of flow, where you’re one with the task at hand, whatever it is. In his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, the neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky points out that animals, unlike humans, don’t have the capacity to ruminate or stress. A zebra chased by a lion doesn’t spend hours worrying about the next attack; it simply returns to grazing. By being in the now, it conserves energy and functions optimally.

Lean Into Abundance

So, as you navigate the busy holiday season, remember to let go of overthinking and trying to control every minute detail, and instead live in the ‘field’ of abundance. Remind yourself that there’s enough time, enough resources, enough support, and—most importantly—that you are enough and deserving of it all.

Notice where you’re rushing, pushing, or striving to meet unrealistic expectations. Ask yourself: Are these things truly necessary? Or are they coming from a place of fear, perfectionism, or the need to prove something?

And then allow yourself to let go and connect to what’s important: joy and connection. And if your mind says you don’t have time for these ‘nice to haves’ when there’s so much to be done—because yes our mind will do everything they can to make sure we stay in control—then let it know that joy and connection are actually essential for downregulating stress and in turn, helping us achieve a lot more than when we’re running around with our hair on fire.

So the year comes to a close, I invite you to try a little less. And trust a little more. Trust that everything is unfolding as it should. Trust that you don’t have to do it all, fix it all, or control it all. And trust that you are deserving of the magic unfolding around you because you belong, in the words of the beloved poet Mary Oliver, to “the family of things”.

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